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Supporting independence and self-determination

You play a key role in helping your youth prepare to live independently and participate fully in their community. Start by imagining what living independently would mean for your youth.

Key things to know:

  • Your youth can have a self-determined life.

  • Start building a foundation for independent living at an early age.

  • Key resource: Young adults discuss independent living

  • Key resource: Youth and independence

Independent living means living a self-determined life

Self-determination includes your youth choosing and setting their own goals, being involved in making life decisions, self-advocating, and working to reach their goals. This doesn’t mean an end to your presence, it’s simply a transition of your role from primary decision maker to supporter.

Independent living is based on the core idea that people with disabilities have the same rights as everyone else to participate in and contribute to the community. At the same time, it's OK to need support. We all depend on others, and others depend on us. Healthy interdependence can help people with disabilities live as independently as possible.

Watch the 5 minute video below and hear what young people have to say about independent living and what they did to prepare for it.

Independent Living

“As I've gotten older I've realized that independence is partially relying on yourself and being self-sufficient. But it's also knowing yourself well enough to be able to ask for assistance when you need it.” —Hannah

Supporting youth as they develop their best lives:

  1. Help your child build responsibility, confidence, and problem-solving and communication skills, even from a young age. Reinforce the idea that they'll need these skills when they get older. The Parent Educational Advocacy Training Center (PEATC) offers a life skills checklist (PDF) to help youth ages 14 to 22, their families and their IEP teams track independent life skills.

  2. See failure as an option. Many families are so protective of their youth that opportunities to try new things are limited. Keeping safety in mind, trying and failing is how we learn. Having a disability shouldn't limit someone's ability to explore new skills and experiences.

  3. Define independent living broadly. Independent living doesn't always mean living outside the family home. Many people live with their families by choice or based on resource limitations. Still, people who remain in the family home should still be given opportunities to have new experiences, interact with the community and work in competitive integrated employment.

  4. Plan ahead for parent or caregiver deaths. As difficult as this conversation may be, a plan is critical. [Add more info or a link?]

  5. Consider what a “good life” looks like for your youth. Many people with disabilities are offered only a life of services and protection. A good life happens when a person is treated with dignity and given opportunities to explore interests and to do things for themselves.

Decision making takes on new importance during the transition to adulthood. Substitute decision making (or guardianship) does not have to be an automatic step in the transition process. Other decision making options include independent decision making and supported decision making.

Supported decision making recognizes that all people need at least occasional help to make decisions. It allows people to keep their rights and get as much help as needed to think through their options and choices. This help can come from trusted people in their lives including parents, siblings, extended family, friends, educators, social workers, medical staff and more.

 

More decision making resources:

As your youth becomes more independent, you may wonder if they will be OK in a work setting, on public transportation or around people who don't know them well. You may have worries about their safety, decision making abilities or how they will manage their money. While these concerns are valid, they shouldn’t prevent your youth from living a self-directed life. You can help your loved one prepare for independent living by helping them learn and practice life skills before they need to do them on their own.

Identify situations you consider risky for your youth and then brainstorm strategies to address the risks. For example, when your youth is ready to try a new experience that seems scary, break it down into a series of small steps that feel comfortable and in control.

  • When thinking about safety, focus on balancing what's important to your youth with what's important for your youth. “Important to” is about what really matters to your child. “Important for” is about the help or support they need to stay healthy, safe and well.
    [Link to resource Sorting important to/for from Helen Anderson Associates?]

  • Youth are safer when they have built skills for independent living from a young age. [Add resource for building safety skills specifically, or link to the Building responsibilities and skills page?]

At age 18 your youth will begin to manage their own health care and make medical decisions on their own.

To get ready for the transition, check out these helpful resources:

Consider what assistive technology (AT) might be helpful in supporting independence for your youth at home and in the community. Assistive technology devices can be simple or complex helping a person speak, walk, talk, remember, see, hear, learn and more.

AT resources:

  • Visit the Minnesota STAR Program’s online AT lending library to borrow a device for your youth so they can try it before you buy it. The Minnesota STAR Program helps Minnesotans with disabilities access the assistive technology they need to live, learn, work and play by offering device demonstrations, loans and more.

  • Technology for HOME offers person-centered assistive technology consults and technical assistance to help people with disabilities live more independently.

  • The Minnesota Association of Centers for Independent Living provides information about local independent living services and links to disability-related information from around the world.

Where will your youth live after high school? Living independently can take place in a variety of settings, whether a person owns or rents their own house or apartment, lives with others (with or without supports), or remains in the family home.

Help your youth learn how to care for a home and build independent living skills such as taking out the trash, changing a lightbulb, and being responsible for their own room. Have them participate in household chores—teach them how to wash clothes and do the dishes. Practice budgeting skills and what it means to pay rent and utilities. Help your youth plan for staying safe at home, including what to do in an emergency.

Housing resources:

As a part of the transition planning process, you, your youth and their support team will identify their strengths and needs as they relate to the topics of Minnesota’s transition framework, and together decide which ones to prioritize.

The transition framework’s independent living topics include:

Daily life

  • Home management

  • Nutrition and meal preparation

  • Transportation

  • Clothing care

  • Appointment management

  • Telephone use and etiquette

  • Digital literacy

  • Recreation and leisure

Community living

  • Home

  • Transportation

Money

  • Income sources

  • Money management

Healthy living

  • Physical and mental well-being

  • Health care and benefits

  • Relationships and sexuality

  • Parenting skills

Advocacy, engagement and supports

  • Self-advocacy for independent living

  • Assistive technology

  • Decision making 

  • Civic responsibility

  • Services and supports

Transition Talks: Young adults tell their transition stories.

Youth in transition

Joe’s story: On the road to living independently »

Youth in transition

Hannah’s story: Reaching goals after high school: college, employment and living independently »

Youth in transition

Bailey’s story: Opportunities to figure out what's best for him »

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